We have always been living in a society which has been devoted to acceptance and approval even the small notion of being disliked evoke fear amongst people. This fear has lead people to do things that they don’t like, go to places where they aren’t invested and a lot more. However, there are various examples in history where people fought off this fear and established the strength of character. Yet, the concept of the "Courage to Be Disliked" is on the rise, focused on the authenticity rather than approval. Deeply embedded in the teachings of Alfred Alder a 20th century psychologist he argues that this need for social acceptance can lead people to lose their individuality. He focuses on personal growth by embracing one’s true self regardless of outside judgement.
Every species on this planet wants to feel accepted and and have a sense of belonging. Men and Women being a social animal aren’t any different. Evolutionarily, a group was essential for one’s survival and it is even true to an extent today. But our evolutionary responses remain rooted in that ancient needs. These certain responses can embed in many forms like compromising on your character or values, being a people pleaser, avoiding conflicts and arguments all the time for fear of being disliked. While these behaviours can help in a short term but compromising on your values everytime and not having the courage to take a stand will lead to a diluted sense of belief.
Not everyone likes football, not everyone is so invested in trading market, not everyone wants to explore the world and leave their desk jobs. And it is okay if being your authentic self is not hindering your personal growth and development. i.e: some people don’t like to exercise but it is absolutely foolish if you are physically capable of doing workouts and still not doing it. Authenticity has become an act of courage nowadays because it demands to confront societal norms and reject the need for approval. Embracing our authenticity allow us to express ourselves better, accept ourselves and improve ourselves wherever needed. When we have a better understanding of ourself we live our life unapologetically and engage with the world on our own terms.
When we reframe our perspective on the mindset of rejection or not being accepted by society we take a big step towards the courage to be disliked. Like, dislike , acceptance are all formed from societal views and nearly half of them lack any logical or substantial thinking. Instead of viewing it solely as a negative experience, this can serve as a starting of self discovery. We have to Understand that rejection is an unavoidable part of our life and it allows us to detach from emotional baggage and attaching our self worth from other’s opinion. Additionally, adopting a growth mindset will help us in ease the sting of rejection. By viewing each experience as an opportunity for growth, we become more resilient and better equipped to handle criticism.
The mindset "Courage to Be Disliked" is not an arrogant mindset about becoming cocky, egoistic or dismissive of others opinion; rather, it invites us to engage with the world authentically. In a culture that often prioritizes conformity, embracing our true selves yields profound freedom. By trusting our own beliefs and desires above expectations set by society, we set along on a journey that is uniquely ours a path filled with genuine connections, self-growth, and the peace that comes from acceptance of oneself. Ultimately, the courage to be disliked is not merely an invitation to be rebellious; it is a celebration of individuality and the rich tapestry of human experience. Through this linsights, we find that the true potential of our lives is not found in the approval and acceptance of others but in our willingness to live boldly, authentically, and unapologetically true to ourselves.
Courage comes with confidence, mindset and action. Make your mindset about a certain thing and then follow up with actionable steps. As you progress further you will gain confidence and courage.